LittleZotz Rambling

2 notes

Daddy’s Polite (Song from a Dream)

The other night I had a dream with a musical number in it. A dude that looked kinda like James Spader was singing (complaining) about his accountant, his young son, his teenage daughter, and his wife.

When I woke up, I still had the song very clearly in my head so I wrote down all the lyrics*. Then I texted my two best friends that I was a “dream genius” and promptly went back to sleep.

Here’s what I wrote down — the song from my dream:

Another mistake, but you’ll never see it.
I take my time to conceal it.
Dabbing white-out on error’d notes.
I’d be tempted to shout…
But Daddy’s polite.
Daddy’s polite.

My incompetent son
Always quick with a pun.
Wouldn’t think life was such a lark
If I trapped him alone in the dark!
But I won’t.
'Cause Daddy's polite.
Daddy’s polite.

My daughter is faded.
Good thing we’re related…
Or I’d be tempted to shout.
Tell the little bitch to get out.
But Daddy’s polite.
Daddy’s polite.

My wife has a tendency to roam.
Been ages since she last came home.
She fills me with disgust.
I’d love to stab her right in the bust!
But I won’t.
'Cause Daddy's polite.
Daddy’s polite.

Okay. Maybe not “genius” level, after all. But it makes me laugh.

Ramiro said it’d be a good song for a Grand Theft Auto 5 music video (Michael…).

*I don’t know how to write/compose music, but I was able to sing the song to my boyfriend later that day from memory.

Filed under daddys polite song dream dreams dream genius

0 notes

$3,240.00 of Prizes for Guest Bloggers: Enter Our 6th Pitchfest

It’s another PITCHFEST!! Write in your best article idea for Be A Freelance Blogger for a chance at some really rad prizes (and $100 cash!). Sophie Lizard and I will be judging the entries. Contest ends at 12am PST on 10/24/14!

Filed under pitchfest be a freelance blogger blogging writing writing contest blogging contest

90,119 notes

disneybakerdcp:

spookytox:

reaill:

grimfemme:

I just wanted to eat breakfast ;(

welp now we know the distinction between the two

Have….have people…not eaten shredded wheat before? The regular sized ones?

You put it in a bowl and pour milk on it (with sugar + cinnamon if you’re not some lunatic fiber satan who just wants to eat wheat strings) and let it soak a bit before breaking it up and eating bite sized portions with your spoon.

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW THIS?!

Yeah seriously, the boxed cereal is just the lazy version